Amen. We have a lot of things going on in the life of our church. I really encourage you to make sure you keep yourself aware on our website, GroupMe.

If you're not part of the GroupMe, you can email the office and Casey can get you on GroupMe or you can talk to anyone who's currently on GroupMe.

You have to be added to that to be able to get notifications and all that good stuff.

And so at this time, we want to go ahead and dismiss our children, K-5 through 5th grade.

If you guys will follow... Oh, Mr. Brannon and Miss Debbie. Miss Debbie. Gotcha. Gotcha. Thank you.

The rest of us, we're going to jump around a little bit in the Scriptures this morning. We're going to begin in Ephesians.

You can get your Bibles and go to Ephesians chapter 5. That's where we're going to begin.

Amen. We are doing a brief three-week series on the Anchor of Society.

Boom. There it is. I knew I wasn't lying.

I'm a little discombobulated this morning. I'm broken from my friend and his family,

so I'm trying to prayerfully get my thoughts in order together.

Last week, we talked about singleness.

And so if you weren't here last week, I'm not leaving the singles out as we talk about family.

We went through a lot of statistics that show approximately 45% of the population today is considered single,

whether they're divorced, widowed, or never been married, 18 years or older.

That's a lot of people. That's a lot of people.

And so, but we said that last week that singleness is not a woe is to me thing.

Singleness, we took off from 1 Corinthians chapter 7.

We said singleness, first of all, it's a gift.

God has gifted you in this season, whatever season of life you're in, to be single.

It's also an advantage, allowing you to do kingdom work that you can't do.

Once you get married and you have a family, everybody knows you have more responsibilities, right?

It's not just you anymore. You can't come and go as you want.

So there's an advantage, but there's also a responsibility in your singleness as well, too.

And we said that last week we understand that your number one priority, if you are single,

your number one priority, and it carries on to marriage,

but your number one priority is self-control.

Self-control.

And that has to carry.

And if you can't be self-controlled when you're single,

guess what you don't carry on when you carry into your marriage?

You're not going to be self-controlled in there as well, too.

So we talked about today, our topic is we're going to deal with marriage, okay?

And I thought to myself, I'm going to do a, how do you do just one sermon on marriage, you know?

Seriously, we could probably spend all year talking about marriage and we'd chase half of you off, you know?

I realize that.

But seriously, how do you do just one message on marriage?

But I want to talk this morning about what does it take in order for our marriages to flourish?

So maybe if you're not married or you might be married one day, you could still listen to this and catch a lot in here.

But the truth of the matter is, and you can ask someone who is maybe married in here,

marriage is hard work.

Thank you, Chuck.

Somebody's got to come with me this morning.

Marriage is hard work.

And there's a reality to the throwaway line that love is blind, but marriage is an eye-opener, okay?

I heard that years ago.

And I thought, wow, that's true.

I need to remember that.

And I did.

But God never intended for your marriage and my marriage just to get by, okay?

God never intended for us just to endure each other.

God never intended for us to accommodate selfishness and dysfunction either, okay, in the life of marriage.

Jill and I have been married for 21 years, and it's hard work.

It's hard work.

And the only option you have when you get married, and I know some of you may not be married,

and you're engaged, and you're saying, well, he's not talking about us.

Yes, I am, okay?

I am.

I mean, because you sit there in the counseling office when I have premarital counseling,

and you say, oh, well, she doesn't have a selfish bone in her body.

And he is so perfect.

He will never do these kinds of things.

You know, let me tell you, the only option you have, and so are you.

And so are you, okay?

And so what does it take for us to flourish?

And I want to give you this morning what I believe I think every marriage needs to flourish,

and not just get by, okay, not just get by.

And do, okay, these are eight commitments, commitments that we need to make.

Not feelings, but commitments that we need to make because marriage is hard work.

And let me say this up front.

One of the biggest problems that I have with marriage seminars and marriage...

But one of the things that I don't like about the conferences and seminars is we take it for granted. You know, you can read all the books in the world. All the great books in the world on marriage. And you can get all the great transferable truth insights in the world. And you can take notes from me or anyone else on marriage. You can listen to Dennis Rainey or you can listen to David Robbins. All these great people that speak about marriage. But it won't change your marriage. It won't change your marriage.

We need the power of the Holy Spirit to transform us to change us. That's what we need. Because essentially, we're dealing with the world. We're dealing with the flesh. We're dealing with the devil that wants to sleep in our household and try to attack us. Okay? That's what we're dealing with.

So, information in and of itself is not going to change your marriage. All right?

And I didn't say it wasn't helpful.

But we need to realize that the only thing that can transform us and change us and bring what's dead to life is the spirit of our great God.

That's where it starts.

And also, hear me on this.

Anytime a preacher says that he has a list for you, it's inadequate.

Okay? It's inadequate.

I'm just giving you eight.

And I'm going to tell you, it's inadequate.

There are only 66 books in the Bible.

And the list I give you this morning is not the 67th.

All right?

So, just hear me on that.

But these eight things that I'm going to give you this morning are right out of Scripture.

Right out of Scripture.

Role.

Welcoming your biblical role.

I'm a great believer that why is everything.

Why?

You know, I say that, but my three-year-old daughter Caroline says why all the time now.

It's about to drive me crazy.

She doesn't really want to know why.

She just wants to stop the function going this way.

Well, why?

Why?

You know?

But why is more important than how?

Because why is the stuff of endurance?

It's the stuff of endurance.

And so, the vision of marriage is actually embedded here when Paul talks about roles in Ephesians chapter 5.

And sometimes we miss the larger point of what Paul is making here.

Ephesians 5.

Look with me and let's begin in verse 22.

Wives, submit to your own husbands as to the Lord.

For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church, his body, and is himself its Savior.

Now, as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit in everything to their husbands.

Husbands, love your wives.

As Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her, that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word.

So that he might present the church to himself in splendor without spot or wrinkle or any such thing.

That she might be holy and without blemish.

In the same way, husbands should love their wives as their own bodies.

He who loves his wife loves himself.

For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ does the church.

And here's the problem with most of the messages on this.

And I've preached messages on this text like this.

And it is true.

He's talking about roles.

I don't want to back away from that.

And yes, ladies, he uses the S word here.

It's in the text.

And whether you like it or not, I'm not watering it down.

It's there.

And he says it.

And yes, it's true that husbands should love their wives and cherish them.

But we miss the big picture.

Okay.

It's the why we do this.

Why we do this.

Okay.

He's what he's talking about here.

And hear me on this.

God created marriage to be a portrait of the gospel.

God created marriage to be a portrait of the gospel.

Okay.

So when I am functioning in my God-given assignment, God uses that to tell the truth about Christ and his power through my relationship.

That's it.

Okay.

That's the tone of this passage.

And that's the reason why he says, as Christ does the church.

As Christ does the church.

So the intention of marriage is to say something more.

The intention of marriage is to say something bigger than just living together.

And pain is to say something bigger than just living together.

And pain is to say something bigger than just living together.

And pain is to say something bigger than just living together.

marriage is supposed to be both mission and message. Okay? And you have to stop listening to what the world says about marriage. Marriage is not just about your happiness. Marriage is not just about the celebration of your love. Marriage was meant to be both mission and message. Theologically, the reason why we get married is to steward the image of God from one generation to the next. Right? Okay? When

Adam and Eve sinned, okay, that vision was marred and Jesus Christ came and he died for our sins, okay, upon the cross so that vision could be fully restored. Thus, Paul says, function in this way so that your message, your marriage tells the truth about the gospel. It tells the truth about it. And if you don't get that right, you cut off the power to change relationships.

You cut the power to change relationships. You cut the power to change relationships. You cut the power to change relationships. You cut the power off. And what happens is you'll walk away when things begin to get uncomfortable. You'll get so mad and you'll pitch a fit when you don't get your way. We got quiet. Yeah, okay. And when somebody doesn't do what you want them to do, you get sideways about this. This is the sacred why.

Why? This is the sacred why. Marriage is a picture of the redeeming power and the hope of the gospel. So when couples welcome their role, okay, under the lordship of Jesus Christ, when husbands sacrificially love their wives as Christ loved the church and doesn't act like some sought-off Caesar, okay, then she wants to respond and she wants to submit to that.

Right, right, ladies? Amen. Okay? Because he's not demanding his way, okay? He's exalting Christ and asking Christ to work through his leadership.

And this is a desperate picture. And this is a desperate picture that the world needs to see about marriage today.

It tears me up when I see Christian couples just walking away.

Just walking away.

And we're just unable to resolve our mess.

Unable.

What does that say about the gospel?

When Christian couples do that.

When Christian couples just walk away.

What does that say about the power of God?

What is it?

What kind of message does it send to our kids?

I mean, marriage and family is the primary means by which God wanted to exalt himself and still wants to exalt himself in the context of human history.

And as I said last week, okay, listen, if you are single, you are not incomplete, okay?

We covered you last week, so I'm not leaving you out, okay?

But this is where we are, okay?

But if you are married, this is the sacred, holy illustration.

The sacred, holy illustration of the plan and the purposes of God in human history.

The second, the second commitment that we've got to make in order for our marriage is to flourish.

And notice my choice on words.

That they are driven by a determination to love.

You hear me on that?

Driven by a determination to love.

Look at 1 Corinthians chapter 13.

It's a passage we know all well.

Let's begin in verse 4.

Love is patient and kind.

Love does not envy or boast.

It is not arrogant or rude.

It does not insist in its own way.

It is not irritable or resentful.

It does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices in the truth, with the truth.

Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.

Paul's talking about the nature of love.

And you can't help but to think as you read through 1 Corinthians 13.

And it's beyond the feelings of love, okay, right?

Just the feelings, you know.

And if you've been married for a year or two, you don't get this, okay?

You don't get this.

But listen to me.

The feelings of love cannot sustain your marriage.

Muito.

etech.

Thank you.

It reaches back to the day when you agreed to love and cherish. You agreed to love. You agreed to love. You didn't say, I feel like loving. I feel like loving. You agreed to love. And that's the problem with our culture today. Love is too cheap. It's too superficial. It's very conditional. Love is more than the feeling. Love is a choice, yes. But love is more than a choice. It's a determination.

It's a determination. It's a determination. Love is most attractive and compelling during those hard and difficult times. Love is most powerful when there is this resistance. Love is most brilliant when something takes place and everything in you says, man, I should not extend love in this situation. But you do anyway. That's when it becomes brilliant, okay? That's that demonstration of love.

It's that demonstration that says, I'm not going anywhere. I'm not running from you. I'm not running from our problems. I have chosen to love you. Yes, right now you have made me pretty mad. Right now I don't even really like you very much. Let's be really honest. I don't like you very much. But I have chosen to love you. I've chosen to love you.

Biblical love is not so much about emotions. Biblical love is a decision and a choice to do what is right by the other person. By the other person. And so it's living out our vows. It's living out our commitments. Listen, the depth and the richness of your feelings of intimacy is in direct relationship to your ability to sacrifice for the other.

You hear me on that? The depth and richness of your feelings of intimacy is in direct relationship to your ability to sacrifice for the other. Our culture does not understand that kind of love.

I made a vow and I made a commitment to you and your behavior does not eradicate that commitment. Okay? The fact that you are imperfect does not eradicate the vow that I made.

I'm a man of my word. I'm a man of my word. I'm a man of my word. And I promise to love you. Love is a determination.

And this is why we're so superficial in our culture today with all these throwaway relationships. Okay?

Because we have a very, very cheap understanding of what real love is.

Love is nurtured, however, and cultivated by doing loving acts. Are you with me on that? It's not doing the bare minimum, guys.

It's not doing the bare minimum. Jill and I were talking the other day and one of her friends, her husband says,

well, I might, I may have mentioned to her, well, you know, I help a little bit in the house.

What do you mean you help a little bit in the house?

Well, the house, you know, I work in the yard, but it helps.

No, no, no. You mess the house up too, don't you?

You live here too, right?

You're not helping your wife by vacuuming the floor.

You live there too.

You're not doing her a favor by cleaning the toilets.

It's when you do right by the other person that you're committed to, okay?

We need to create a determination to love.

And when you don't, you're sowing seeds of superficiality to future generations.

Listen, Christian marriages should not be brittle.

They should not be so brittle.

All right, I've got to move on.

We're not going to get through this, okay?

The third commitment that we've got to make in here, if we're going to flourish,

is we've got to be committed to receiving and expressing forgiveness.

Receiving and expressing forgiveness.

Here's the deal.

A commitment to be in any significant relationship with anyone is a commitment to be offended.

I don't mean that as a joke, okay?

To be in a relation means to be offended.

But it's worth it. It's worth it, okay? We, you know, I do this with married couples when they come for premarital counseling in my office. When I sit down with them, I do it with everybody. I ask them, tell me how you handle offenses. Tell me about your ability to forgive. It's funny, the responses, but to be married means to embrace

forgiveness as a lifestyle. And if you cannot forgive, you cannot release, you can't release that forgiveness, then of necessity, you'll never have sweet intimacy in your marriage.

You won't have that intimacy. Let's go back to, let's look back again to Ephesians, chapter 4, verse 32.

Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another as God in Christ forgave you.

Now, notice the expressions there. Kind and tenderhearted. Those expressions create an environment of grace. Do they not?

I mean, to me, it just speaks of an environment. One of the reasons why people have a hard time being vulnerable in a marriage to their spouse

is because they feel like they're married to some high-control Mr. or Mrs. Pharisee, okay?

And their spouse is lacking kindness. And the whole idea of tenderheartedness means you are moving towards someone with vulnerability.

That's what this means right here. And what you create in your marriage, listen, is not the illusion of perfection.

Okay? Stop it. Stop it. No, no, no, no. Not to accommodate mistreatment. I'm not saying that.

You don't want to accommodate mistreatment, okay? That's not grace. Grace is never permission.

Grace is never permission, okay? But it's the realization that we are both sinners here. Okay?

And it was the kindness of the Lord that leads us to repentance, right? That's what the Scripture says.

Because these words, kindness and tenderheartedness, contribute to a heart of humility.

It really resonates a heart of humility.

People want to ask forgiveness when they know that you're not sitting on some judgment seat.

And you're not acting like you've never done anything wrong in your life.

You ever deal with somebody like that? It's like you want to ask for forgiveness.

But they're like, I don't want to go to that person.

Listen, I know, I know, I know what's going to heap on top of my head.

You know, your husband, your husband might be messed up in these, some areas.

But girlfriend, you messed up too, okay?

And chooses not to relate to us based on that offense.

All right? You with me on that?

I don't have time to go into this in depth.

But there's a big difference between reconciliation and forgiveness.

You hear me?

There's a big difference between the two.

To forgive does not mean that the problem has been resolved.

This is important.

And don't play games with one another.

Listen, if there has been trust, if trust has been violated in the marriage, that's a very serious thing.

If trust has been violated in the marriage, that's a very serious thing.

And you can't say, well, baby, you forgave me.

Everything's all right.

No, it's not all right.

It's not all right.

You know, they forgive you, but it's not all right.

Listen, reconciliation means that trust has been restored.

And the problem has been dealt with.

So forgiveness does not necessarily mean that the problem has been resolved.

It means that you have released that.

And you don't deal with them based upon that.

But you've still got some issues to work out in order for trust to be restored.

I want to balance things by saying that.

So we need to create, though, this environment of grace and warmth and tenderness in our relationships.

You know, you cannot last any amount of time in any significant relationship without a degree of humility.

Without a degree of humility.

Without a degree of humility.

Selflessness. Listen, negotiating relationships do not work. I don't care what Dr. Phil tells you. Okay? Negotiating relationships do not work. Okay? That's not a biblical marriage. Okay? 50-50 relationship does not work. If somebody tells you that they will meet you halfway, they are usually a very poor judge of distance. I'm serious.

I'm serious. The whole idea of I do my part. You do your part. That sounds great on paper. But it ain't real. It ain't real. This is great application for marriage. Just turn one page to your right to Philippians chapter 2.

This is great application for marriage. This is great application for marriage. He begins in verse 3 by headstrong. You know. Now, he doesn't say that they are more significant. Okay? But he's saying that you have the security. You with me? You have the security to treat them as if they were more significant than you.

To treat them as if they were more significant than you.

To treat them that way. Listen. It takes confidence to be humble. You with me on that? Our confidence is in the Lord, obviously. But it takes confidence to be humble. And he goes on to say in verse 4,

Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others.

You know, fellas, this is the kind of Christ-like leadership that we're to have in the home.

And to be the leader of your household does not mean that you reign with some high terror control stuff.

You know, that's crazy. It's crazy.

The kind of leadership that we are called to give is the kind of leadership that Jesus modeled.

He modeled it for us. He empowered others. He released others. He treated them as if they were more important than himself.

And by the way, that's just mature leadership, period.

You can take that to the workplace. You can take that biblical leadership into the workplace and you will flourish.

Why? It makes sense.

And it doesn't make sense to the world, but the world is still drawn to it.

Because it's different.

But by selflessness, what I mean is that we seek to become the other.

We seek...

It took me a long time to not just hear this, but really learn this in my marriage.

We have to seek to become the other.

You know, how does Jill feel?

How does she feel?

What does she want?

What are her dreams, her aspirations?

What are those in her heart, the goals that she has in her heart?

What load is she carrying?

Do I really understand, you know, how does she really feel when I'm gone or I'm working several days in a row

and she's at home with non-stop kidsville?

Do I really understand how she feels?

And now understanding all that, can you understand why she snapped at you today?

And you're going to get all offended because you've been gone for two days straight and you're going to get offended on that?

You don't really understand all that she has been through?

It's becoming the other.

Becoming the other.

And listen, this is for...

This is not for immature people.

This is grown folk stuff.

For you to embrace this.

Becoming...

Stepping into someone else's shoes.

Having a heart for them, okay?

And I'm telling you, if you are...

If you are using...

If you're using every relationship to bolster your sense of significance

and fill your inadequacies,

you are going to use and abuse people your entire life.

I see it happening all the time.

Jesus Christ has got to be your identity and your source of significance.

And until you believe that,

you will never ever be able to give to anyone authentically.

Ever.

And the application in this passage is that we don't use others.

We invest in others.

We invest in others, okay?

That's the reason...

That's the reason why the divorce rate spikes.

When the kids go off...

I mean, you've seen it? You've seen it? Don't take each other for granted. And just as a side note, it seems like the older we get in our marriages, the less we say thank you. Yeah, just keep that one for yourself. Fifth commitment for our marriages to flourish is...

What I'm going to say, they have common core priorities. Common core priorities. Stay in the Philippians. Let's back up a little bit. Chapter 2, verse 1.

So if there's any encouragement in Christ, any comfort from love, any participation in the Spirit, any affection and sympathy, complete my joy by being of the same mind, having the same love, being in full accord and of one mind.

One mind. When he says same right there, he's not saying that you agree on everything, okay? That's not what it means. Unity is not necessarily agreement on everything, all right?

We have that even within our elder body. We don't always agree on everything, but we have unity, okay? Because, you know, you can disagree and still be unified.

It's the agreement on the essentials, on what's priority. And I want to push this a little bit because I see what happens in marriages a lot.

You get married, you have these long walks, you have these long talks, you talk about your dreams, your goals, your visions.

And then kids start coming along, and then life gets crazy, and life gets busy, and your marriage starts becoming functional and reactionary.

And there's less intentionality in the relationship, and now tasks become the priorities.

Again, I'm speaking from experience here. I've graded myself terribly on this at times, you know?

I think every couple needs to reestablish the direction of your marriage, to revisit it, and constantly revisit, where are we going in this season of our marriage?

What are we doing? Be intentional about that. Establish your values first, okay?

And then your priorities, because your priorities should be the expression of your values.

You with me on that?

Your priorities should be the expression of your values.

And please stop using the term, time management.

I hate that.

Stop using time management.

Nobody has ever managed time. Ever.

It's gone. You lost it.

You lost it.

The only thing you can manage is you.

How about working on you management?

You know?

It's your values.

What gives weight to you?

What gives weight to your marriage?

You know, I think every year, every couple should do something like what we're offering on the 31st.

To encourage one another.

And have a place where you can just come and breathe.

Just come and breathe and be equipped and encouraged in your marriage.

Number six.

The sixth commitment.

I'm going to call that responsive communication.

Responsive communication.

In James, chapter 1, verse 19, James says,

Let every person be quick to hear, slow to speak, and slow to anger.

Quick to hear, slow to speak, and slow to anger.

In other words, don't react to one another.

Learn how to respond to one another.

I've been busted on this recently.

I react.

My first reaction is this, you know.

It wasn't good for me.

But you listen.

You receive.

And then you respond.

You know, give each other focused attention.

You know, the failure, the failure to listen is a sure sign of insecurity and fear.

Your failure to listen, okay?

I've had to learn that as well, too.

You know, what do you have to prove to one another?

I mean, seriously.

What do you have to prove?

The goal is resolution.

Not who's right and who's wrong.

Sometimes I go to the ends of the earth because I need to be right.

Right?

Right?

But don't avoid those hard conversations.

Make a determination on what you're going to do about the issue and then carry it out.

Stop having the same conversation about the issue and all you're doing is making laps around Mount Sinai.

You're not going anywhere.

Make a determination what we're going to do and carry it out.

Some of you right now are thinking, I'm never coming to him for marriage counseling.

That's fine.

My schedule needs to go from here to here anyway.

That's fine with me.

Okay.

The seventh.

The seventh.

And this is one that's heavy on my heart because my wife, she has shown me where I've really let this one down.

Commit to laughter.

Commit to laughter.

You know, Proverbs 9, 17 says, a joyful heart is good medicine.

Smile.

Smile.

Some of you, I have yet to see you smile.

And you've been coming here a while.

Smile.

Smile.

Okay.

Laugh at yourself.

Smile a lot.

It's going to get better.

It really will.

It's going to get better.

Some of us need to learn to love ourselves the way God loves us too.

Need to be able to do that.

I think God belly laughs a lot with me when he looks at me.

That curse, man.

He goes off on so many tangents.

He's not stretching scripture, so he's just funny.

He's just funny.

Okay.

And the last one is this.

The last one is this.

Rest.

Rest.

And I would even put refreshment in there.

And I'm preaching to the choir.

I'm the worst.

Casey tells me all the time, you hear too much.

You work too much.

Gone.

Gone.

You know, Jesus said, come to me, all you who are weary and heavy laden, and I will give you rest.

Oh, man.

And I think that implies a few things.

I think, first of all, for us, we need to pursue those guilt-free relaxation as couples.

Sometimes as couples, we're like, well, we're getting away, but we really should be doing this.

You know?

Anybody with me?

Oh, we shouldn't have left the kids.

They probably miss us already.

And they don't miss you.

They're over there tearing up somebody else's house right now.

It's all good.

Guilt-free.

Guilt-free relaxation.

Carve out some time and pursue a rhythm of time together.

Put it on your calendar.

Create a no-kids zone.

Even if it's only the last 20 or 30 minutes.

That's where Jill and I are.

The last 20 minutes, we finally get everybody to bed.

We look at each other.

Hey.

I got nothing.

I love you.

It's okay.

It's no-kids zone, then.

That's all we got right now.

But we got it.

We got it.

And then, if you have kids...

I mean, this is where I am right now.

I'm sitting there with Jill.

I'm like, is the baby crying?

I heard the baby.

You ever hear the baby when the baby's not crying?

You've heard it so much that you hear it.

It's like, holy cow, I've lost my stinking mind.

And I smell a dirty diaper every three minutes, whether there is one or not.

That's my life.

I need rest.

I need rest.

Try to create the occasional getaways.

You know, if it's only two weekends a year, do something.

Something.

But you can't miss Sunday.

You have to be here for Sunday.

I'm kidding.

I'm kidding.

We said guilt-free, right?

Yeah.

God's got a plan for your life.

And so does Pastor Curtis.

You need to be here on Sunday.

I'm just kidding.

Let's see.

You know, and I have to watch this one myself.

But you have to adopt a schedule that does not deplete...

Listen to me.

That does not deplete or diminish your strength and energy.

Okay?

Because it is so unfair to always come home exhausted.

And everyone else has gotten the very best of you.

And the person that you love the most gets the short end of the stick night after night, week after week.

It's so wrong.

It is so wrong.

You know...

I do. I work too much. I admit it. I'm...you know, but here's...and this is not justification. Let me just explain something to you. One of the reasons why I put a lot of hours in is, number one, I love my calling. I love my calling. And number two, I have been around the block enough in twenty-something days to be a

years of ministry. I have seen a lot of stinking, I'm going to say it, lazy pastors. It drives me stinking nuts. It drives me nuts. I hate laziness anyway. I hate laziness. Anybody else on the workplace that can't stand lazy people? Yeah. That's right. I despise it. If you don't know what you're doing, ask for help. But don't be lazy. You can control that, right? I should know what to do so I didn't do anything. Okay. So anyway, I work a lot.

I work a lot. And so I am going to go...yeah, I hear all the jokes. Oh, you only work one day a week on Sunday. Oh, no, no. Sorry, Pastor. You work half day on Wednesday, too. Yeah, I'm sorry. I hear those jokes. And you guys say it to me sometimes. And I know part of it's half truth coming from your mouth. Because maybe what you've seen from somebody else in the past...

So I try to do everything I can to be above reproach in all areas. And sometimes I go overboard. And I'm here a lot. I get here early on Sunday mornings. I don't have to get here quite so early. But there's a prayer routine that I like doing over all the facility and study routine that I want to do.

And you know what? And then Sunday's over. Guess what? Today I have a staff meeting after this. And then after that I have two counseling sessions after that.

And I won't get home today until maybe 5, 6 o'clock maybe today. Maybe 5. I should be done by 5 and be home. But that's every Sunday. Every Sunday.

And I had somebody say to me, Pastor, you know, why don't you take Mondays off? Why don't you take Mondays off? I don't take Mondays off. I take Fridays off.

I take Fridays off. Because Monday I'm exhausted. And why would I give Jill one of the worst days? I'm going to give it back to the church. Just half joking.

I'm giving it back to you. I'm exhausted on Monday. But I also know where I left off on Sunday and where I want to go on my teaching.

And so I'm here on Monday. Monday's a study day for me. But that's my rhythm. That's my rhythm.

And I have to do a better job in my marriage of creating those margins. Creating that space for my wife.

I realize that. And so I just want to challenge you this morning.

I know there's a lot of... I tried to leave some margin for Brandon and Jessica.

I didn't want to talk about everything marriage up here. So they'd have some stuff to talk about.

But I wanted to give you 8 things that were some commitments. Some solid commitments that you could make.

And I want to give you a challenge. Your challenge today is simply this.

To go home with your significant other and talk about these things.

Look at these 8 commitments that I just laid out to you.

And begin to talk about it. And then just ask yourselves together.

Ask yourselves, how are we doing?

And don't be critical.

Don't be critical if your significant other is failing or if you're failing.

Grace. We talked about grace. Okay, right?

But how are we doing? Okay, okay, okay. We're failing. We're failing in this. That's good. That's okay.

But we're still in the game. We're still in the game.

And I'm not going anywhere. You're not going anywhere.

Because I'm not letting you go anywhere.

We're still in the game.

We can press the do better button.

Let's regroup.

Let's regroup.

Because see, here's the thing.

For those of you who are married, please understand this.

In all seriousness, the most important person in your world is sitting right next to you.

Right next to you.

It doesn't get any better than that.

Now, some of you looked at somebody else and said, ooh.

That's my encouragement to you today.

That you would put these things into practice.

Come on up, worship team.

That you would put these things in practice to allow God to bring your marriage to all that he intended it to be.

God doesn't want you to just get by.

God doesn't want you to just endure one another.

To put up with one another.

God wants you to flourish.

Because it is a message of the gospel.

It is a portrait of the gospel.

What your marriage speaks to those around you matters.

It matters.

People see it.

People see it.

And I've said this before.

Rob was giving Michelle signs with him. Guacamole! Guacamole. Guacamole. Sorry. I ruin everything. That's my gift. I ruin everything. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I pray that you leave today encouraged. Encouraged. If you're not married,

Mary, take these things here. These are great things for you to hold on to one day when God brings that right person along into your life. Show them your list. I got a list. I got a list. These are things we're going to run to. And he'll either run from you or he'll run to the Lord and say, God, I need your help to be the leader, to be the man, to be the woman that they deserve. We said this last week. If you're single, if you're single, stop chasing the right person and work on it.

I'm being the right person for that person. Get yourself where you need to be. God will put everything else into place. Amen? Amen. I love you. Let's stand and give praise to the Lord. Father, you are so, so good. We thank you for marriage. We thank you for it. It's a great picture of how one day your son, Jesus Christ, will come for his bride, the church. And just as Paul said, you will see us holy and blameless. You will see us that way.

Because of the blood of Jesus. Because of the blood of Jesus. We exalt you, Jesus. We exalt you. And so today, you know, sometimes I give you an opportunity to come and pray and this, that, and the other.

And so I've had some people say, well, I don't want to come and pray because, you know, my situation is not that bad. But I wanted to pray for somebody else. But if I went up there, everybody would think it was me.

Hey, it's not you. If you come and pray today, you're praying for, you're praying for the person two rows behind you today. How's that?

You come and pray. You stand in the gap. A lot of us know marriages that are, that are hurting right now.

And we just said, as Christian marriages shouldn't be so brittle, right? So why can't we stand in the gap for those who need us?

If you're single, come and stand in the gap for those who you know. That's the invitation today.

Be willing to stand in the gap for those who need it. Amen? In Jesus' name, amen.

Amen.

Let's set this place ablaze. Father, set your place ablaze.