The rest of us, let's grab our Bibles, and we will not be turning to Genesis today. How's that? I know. You guys are going to give me a complex about this. But we will get back to Genesis one day, and we will get there. Yeah. We're going to finish that.

I'm going to do a three-part series right now because we have the Marriage Night of Enrichment on January 31st. This is a huge thing for our church. This is a night where we really want to encourage you as a couple. Encourage your marriage. It's going to be a lot of fun. It's not going to be your normal, dry. This is where they get up there and they give you all those really goofy things that you do. These are going to be some real-life, applicational things we're going to give you.

It's going to be a really nice meal. We're going to have it catered in. Natalie Cross is going to have this place decorated to the nines. It's going to look amazing.

And it's just going to be a lot of fun as well, too. We'll probably play some games. We'll play the Oldie Wood game. If you don't know what that's about, show up and find out. It'll be a lot of fun.

But we'll also have some panel discussion, too, where we can have some just real-life, face-to-face talk about marriage and that.

So, in understanding that that's where we're going in January, I wanted to do a three-part series on what I'm calling the anchor of society.

The anchor of society. And for us, we understand that the anchor of society is the family.

It's the family. And so, I don't want to leave everybody out.

And, well, what about me? I'm not married. And we're putting all this emphasis on marriage and this, that, and the other.

I get that. But God instituted three institutions.

He instituted the church, the family, and the government.

Okay? Those are the three institutions.

And we, as Christians, we need to know how to relate to all of these things.

However, the family is the anchor of society.

It was supposed to be the smallest, visible unit of community that expresses the heart and the intentions of God.

That's the family. Not only today, but in the future.

But today, I want to talk about singleness.

So, some of you guys don't feel like you're left out.

Okay? Because this is a big deal.

But this has application to us as married folk as well, too.

But we're going to talk about singleness today.

Let me just, let me just kind of go off track here just a little bit.

And just, just as a point of how God works in your life,

let me tell this story and try to be as PG as possible.

Or as G as possible.

Should I be G or PG?

Okay, BG. Okay, there you go.

But here, we got, I, you never do things, you never, you never do things for the accolade of man.

Right?

You do things because God has called you to do these things and whatever.

But it's always nice whenever someone like myself comes up and they, you, you, you pray, you pray, you study,

and you give out the word of God.

And you get maybe a text message or email that somebody's coming along with you.

You know?

It's like, wow, it connected to, praise God.

Well, last week after last week's message, man, I praise the Lord for a lot of you who sent me text messages and emails

about how God just ministered that moment.

That was, that was powerful.

This, and so I'm feeling, yeah, I'm feeling like, wow, God, you're really making some connection.

And this is, this is what God does to bring you back down.

Okay?

Just to remind you that you're not all that in a box of nuts.

Okay?

So anyway, so I'm having a great week.

It's, and I'm not feeling, I'm not feeling proud of myself or whatever.

But anyway, I'm, I'm over there.

We're, we're, we're doing all the kids stuff at home.

And Caroline's in the bathtub with the baby.

And they're playing.

We get the baby, I get the baby out, giving to Jill to get, to get the baby dress.

And I go back to get Caroline.

And Caroline's in the, Caroline's three years old.

But, um, never happened before.

But there are some floating presents in the tub now.

Okay?

And she's sitting in there still playing.

And she's gotten out to get something.

And there's a couple other presents that are on the floor in the bathroom as well, too.

And so I'm like, oh my gosh.

And so now I've got to get Caroline out, give her to Jill to take her to go shower.

And now I'm relegated to scrubbing the tub and bleaching the whole bathroom.

And God's reminding me, you ain't nothing but a servant.

And I'm like, I'm your huckleberry, Lord.

I'm good.

I'm good.

So God will bring you back down to earth from time to time.

Will he not?

You know?

So never, never, uh, I think Proverbs talks about those who get prideful.

Okay?

But today we're talking about singleness and being single and satisfied.

Okay?

And many of you might be thinking, well, what do you know about being single, Pastor Curtis?

Let me tell you what.

I didn't get married until I was 38 years of age.

And before we get into that, I want to give you some statistics that might actually tweak your interest a little bit. According to the 2017 Census Bureau, more than 110 million residents of the United States are either divorced, widowed, or have always been single.

And that means that 45% of all Americans 18 years or older are single. I never thought about that. 45%.

There are a lot more singles in our population than we realize. Almost half of the adult population. In 1990, the average age for a woman to get married was 24. In 1994, a man, it was 26. It's getting older now. In 2018, the average age for a woman to get married is 28. And the average age for a man is 30. So we're waiting longer.

And part of what's driving that is, according to the Pew report, is that most millennials now are approaching marriage as a capstone rather than a cornerstone.

Okay? That's what the Pew report says.

So there's been a shift over the last 40 to 50 years.

And most millennials do not view marriage as necessary to complete them at all.

To them, there are other things more important, like economic stability, like economic independence, and keeping my options open.

Okay? All those things.

And once I get all these other things, these other priorities, objectives, you know, done, then I might consider marriage.

And the other deal with that is that they relegate marriage to them.

Marriage is kind of a fluid thing.

Okay?

And even when they do get married, personal happiness takes paramount over that.

My personal advancement, my own sense of security is far more important than what we might call the covenant of marriage.

And so it's good, but it's not necessary.

That's the mindset with many, many millennials today.

There's an opportunity for us here at Rhema Community Church.

Those of us who are married, we need to hear this message about singleness as well, too.

Because there's some things that I've observed.

There's some observations that I've made.

The first observation is that, listen, single people spell love the same way that married people do.

Time.

Time.

It's very important.

They need as much focus on relational commitment as we do.

Even though we might express that through the context of our life with our life partner, singles need that focused attention of time.

The second observation is that there's a common assumption in the church that marriage is the norm and singleness is an aberration.

All right?

And that's not true.

I mean, I just gave you those statistics that show you those numbers, okay?

And we'll see in a few moments that if you view it that way, you have a terrible misunderstanding of the scriptures.

But there's this feeling that singles should be pushed to the margins and the focus should be on married people and this, that, and the other.

And I've even done that sometimes.

We put all the marbles in on the married people and we kind of push the singles at times.

But that sort of becomes the norm.

And so we have all this stuff for married people and this, that, and the other.

And everything revolves around us.

But the third observation I make is that singles usually, usually live alone, okay?

And so there's a tendency to isolate.

But they need the church to be proactive in reaching out and inviting them in to be involved.

And we have, again, an opportunity here in the life of our church.

We're going to be in 1 Corinthians chapter 7 this morning.

But we need to think about inclusion.

We need to think about inclusion here.

Because there is a tendency in almost every church to move into these silos.

All right?

We move into these silos.

And we are to be inclusive, even in our spheres of influence, if we're married, to include singles.

We are to be inclusive relationally.

We are to be inclusive racially.

We are to be inclusive gender-wise, okay?

Because what happens is when we move, we have the tendency to move into these silos.

And when we move into these silos, what we do is we cannibalize unity.

And unity is the ultimate goal.

It's the ultimate goal.

There is this tension.

We need the whole...

spiritual leaders of all time have been single, by the way, C.S. Lewis, he did not get married until he was very, very, very late in life. He was single. Almost Philip Brooks, one of the 19th century preachers, brilliant mind, absolute unbelievable scholar. He was single his entire life. Dr. Henrietta Mears. I mean, God used a single woman to shape

those who would shape those who would shape the direction of evangelical Christianity for 40 or 60 years. She helped to nurture Bill Bright. She helped to disciple him. She helped... She was very impactful in Billy Graham in starting his ministry. God used a single woman in this aspect. So to be single is not a woe is to me kind of thing. And we have some thinking to do here, even in our church. Sometimes when we have single people, we kind of tend to put a lid on things.

As far as they can only go so far in leadership, even in the life of the church. I don't read that in the Bible. I don't read it in the scriptures. You can even have single elders. I mean, the Bible says that an elder is to be the husband of one wife. It doesn't say you have to be married. It just says if you are married, you're a one woman man. That's what it's talking about right there. So there shouldn't be limitations on terms of what singles can do. Okay? Having said that, what does the Bible teach us?

Teach about singleness. And I'm just going to be rudimentary. I'm going to be foundational today. Okay? And the classic text, again, in 1 Corinthians 7, Paul gives us the distilled essence of what the Bible teaches about singleness.

Now, I'll confess this up front. I'm not going to say anything profound today. It's as clear as clear can be.

But there are three statements that Paul makes about singleness that we're going to touch base with this morning.

It's woven throughout this passage. I'm going to jump around within this passage.

First of all, singleness is a gift. Okay? It's a gift. And the text will show us that.

Singleness is an advantage. And singleness is a responsibility. We're going to cover these this morning.

First of all, let's see singleness as a gift.

First Corinthians chapter 7. Let's begin in verse 6.

Now, as a concession, not a command, I say this.

I wish that all were as myself am.

As I myself am.

But each has his own gift from God.

One of one kind and one of another.

He's presenting singleness here not as a curse.

And he's not saying you are woefully inadequate because you are single.

And he's not saying you're missing something if you're single.

And on the other hand, he's not saying to married people that you're the best thing since sliced bread.

Just because you're married either.

Alright?

Whatever state...

Listen.

Whatever state you are in, it's a gift.

Whatever state you are in, it is a gift.

There are certain implications.

And the first one is this.

That by the will of God, by the will of God, some have been called to a life of singleness.

How's that?

By the will of God.

And I think you need to be very, very careful with being obsessed about marriage.

Maybe some of you need to get this within your little arsenal so you can talk to your children about it one day as well too.

You know, because a lot of them tend to be obsessed with marriage.

You know, you are where you are in life because of the will of God.

By the will of God.

This is the state in which you live.

The will of God determines your effectiveness and not your desires.

You hear me on that?

The will of God determines your effectiveness and not your desires.

Too many single people are so obsessed with getting married that they are ineffective in the state that they are in right now.

Because they are so obsessed with getting married and everything and finding that right person on the book or on that website.

I mean, holy cow.

We could go and do this a lot of different ways in this.

But it is a gift from God.

It is God's will for you right now.

Right now.

Well, how do you know it is God's will for me right now?

You are not married yet, are you?

No.

Then it is God's will for you right now.

Wow.

does not complete you. Okay? That movie with Tom Cruise and whatever they did, they did not complete each other, okay? Marriage does not complete. I've heard too many lazy preachers and I've read some really bad marriage books that have the assumption that if you're not married, you're not complete. You won't find that in the scriptures. You won't find it in the scriptures. But God said it's not good for man to be alone. And he's going to make a helpmate suitable for him. That's true.

And he was made suitable. And yes, the two did become one. However, in the totality of things, if God does not lead you to a spouse, don't make the terrible assumption that somehow or another you have less than what God wants you to have. Listen to me. Please. Listen to me. God is enough.

God. He has to be enough. Married folk. God is enough. He has to be enough. Was Jesus in his humanity incomplete? I don't think so. He wasn't married. Okay?

Is Paul incomplete because at this point in stage he's not married? Absolutely not.

Now, I'm not playing some sort of shell game with you on this. I'm talking about reality, okay?

We have to put marriage in its proper perspective.

And we'll talk about desires and this kind of thing later on in the message here.

But understand, just because you are not married in this season of your life does not mean that you're incomplete.

It doesn't mean that you're incomplete.

Which leads me to the next observation. Look down in verse 17 with me.

Only let each person lead the life that the Lord has assigned him and to which God has called him.

This is my rule in all the churches.

In other words, Paul is saying, stay put.

Stay put.

He's not saying don't look for a husband or don't look for a wife or don't make yourself available, okay?

I believe what he's talking about here is a lack of contentment.

This is important, okay?

One of the things that I've learned in life is you will never be happy if you sit around and you delay your happiness until your circumstances change.

I'm not really going to be happy until all these circumstances change.

And then finally when my circumstances change, then I'll be...

What happens is you make yourself miserable in the meantime and everybody else around you miserable and they don't want to spend any time with you.

You're delaying your happiness.

You're miserable because your circumstances haven't changed.

That is a lack of contentment.

Paul's saying, yeah, he's not saying don't look or don't have the desire.

He's saying this is where you are though.

This is where you are.

This is where...

Can God bring you joy?

Can God give you joy where you are?

Can he give you that joy?

Can he give you fulfillment where you are?

You know, perhaps...

Perhaps he will not give you that...

What you have been desperately longing for.

And the reason why he's not going to give you that very thing that you've been desperately longing for, because you have turned it into an idol.

So therefore, he's not going to grant that.

You could probably talk to a lot of the married folk in this room right now and they will tell you, you know what, my spouse came along when I quit trying to make it happen and I let the Lord do it.

Paul says in Philippians chapter 4 that I've learned in whatever state I am to be content.

Whatever state I am, okay?

Then he says that the power to be content is not found in him.

He goes on to say that I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.

That's how I can be content in whatever situation or circumstance I'm in.

Listen, my circumstances are not hindered or a barrier to God.

Whatever your circumstances, your situation is, it's not a barrier to God.

He can meet me.

He can meet you in those circumstances.

And by the way, just understanding that and being able to really reason that in your heart and mind, that's called mature...

Make sure you didn't look at anybody when you said that. Now, we're up and down based on our emotions, you know? And Paul says, look, until God brings that person in your life, you know, that he wants you to have contentment is a constant. Christ is our source of contentment and not our circumstances. Christ is our source of contentment and not our circumstances.

And as Paul talks about singleness, you know, this is where he starts. He's like, look, I'm not trying to set you up with a whole bunch of happy talk, okay? Listen, singleness, it's a gift. Marriage, it's a gift. It's a gift. Then he says that singleness, look in verse 8 with me, singleness is an advantage. It's an advantage.

To be unmarried, I'm sorry, to the unmarried and to the widows, I say, that is good for them to remain single as I am.

All right? Right here, we know that Paul is single, okay? But we believe, we don't know how, what happened to his wife, but we believe that Paul was married at some point in time.

Because to be a Pharisee, you had to be married, okay? And he was a Pharisee at one point in time, okay? And so, somewhere along the line, he had a wife, we don't know.

But right now, we know he's single. And he's not saying don't get married, he's just saying it's good for you to remain single.

And he gives us three advantages. Three advantages. Skip down to verse 28 with me.

But if you do not marry, you have not sinned. And if a betrothed woman marries, she has not sinned.

Yet those who marry will have worldly troubles, and I would spare you of that.

Paul's being real. I mean, he's just being real. He's saying, to be married means you got more responsibility.

Can we have an amen on that? There is more responsibility. Marriage is a joyful thing, okay? It is.

If that's what God has called you to do. But you need to walk into that marriage with your eyes wide open, okay?

It's not going to be kissy face all day long, okay?

Somebody's got to go to work. Somebody's got to pay the bill.

Somebody's got to help me clean the bathroom back here.

And then when you have those wonderful blessings that come along called children, guess what?

Even more responsibilities come along.

Somebody's got to take a turn cleaning up that mess in the bathroom.

And some of you who love your spouses dearly sometimes look back and go,

Well, I didn't take advantage of those days when I had not all that stuff.

You get married, you can't come and go the way you used to, okay?

You have kids, you can't come and go the way you used to.

Oh, we're just going to go here for the weekend.

You can't just throw some food in the litter box and come back and everything's okay.

The kids are all right. He'll find the juice.

We threw some diapers out there.

Somebody check on my kids.

It doesn't work that way.

There's an advantage.

Leverage it when you're in this season.

Too many singles.

You spin your wheels chasing stuff you're not supposed to chase yet.

Wait on the Lord.

Wait on the Lord.

You know, Paul's saying, look, I want you to understand something.

Marriage doesn't take place on some romantic balcony.

That's not where it takes place.

You are marrying another human being who is just as sinful as you are.

That's what he's getting at.

And you are going to have to work through some issues.

I don't care how much you love that other person.

My wife has to work through issues with me.

I know many of you thought I was the most perfect man.

You know, she got, you know.

No, I got issues.

Okay?

I mean, every marriage has those situations.

Okay?

And Paul's not saying, I don't want you to marry.

Because in Ephesians 5, he's going to talk about how beautiful marriage is.

He's not running it down.

But he's saying this.

When you are single, whether you are divorced, whether you are widowed, whether you have never been married,

you have an advantage.

There's an advantage here.

Look at verse 32.

If you want...

and body and spirit

but the married woman

is anxious about worldly things

and how to please her husband.

Amen.

I mean, I love this text.

He's not knocking marriage.

He's just being a realist.

He's being a realist.

He's saying for singles

there are potentially fewer encumbrances

and distractions

which would facilitate

a greater devotion to the Lord

time spent and His servants.

That's what He's getting at.

You don't have these dual things

going on in your head.

You don't have to manage

somebody else's issues as well.

My wife's going through

some hard stuff with her family.

Guess what?

That hard stuff becomes my hard stuff now too.

I hurt for her with that.

I mean, it's a beautiful thing

to be able to shelter that with her,

to shoulder that with her

but that's a reality.

You're taking on other people's stuff.

If you're single,

don't curse that.

Don't curse.

Leverage it

which introduces us

to the next observation

in verse 38.

So then he who marries

his betrothed does well

and he who refrains from marriage

will do even better.

In context,

what he's saying

is that singles

have a greater freedom

for God's kingdom work.

Okay?

And you know,

and it's true.

You know,

I don't know how

productive

C.S. Lewis

would have been

if he would have been married

all those years.

She would have come in.

I don't care

the lying witch

and somebody better

clean the wardrobe.

You're back here

writing books all the time.

Somebody got to get out here

and help me.

You know?

I mean,

that's a reality.

Okay?

So there are

more opportunities

to advance the kingdom.

Okay?

Two,

and listen to me,

singles,

and this bleeds into marriage too.

This bleeds into marriage.

But you singles especially,

listen to me,

you have too many hobbies.

You have your hands,

you have your hands

in so many things

that you can't be

as productive

in the kingdom

as God would want you to be.

And then what happens

is that is a trait

that you take

into your marriage

and you develop a marriage

where you guys are busy

all the time.

And we got to go here

this weekend.

I got to do this this week.

I got to have a coffee

with this.

Oh, good stuff.

But you have created

chaos in your life.

And you wonder,

why am I,

why am I,

why am I?

You're not going

to catch your tail.

You're not going

to catch it.

God's allowing you

to have this season

so you can advance

His kingdom.

You know,

don't,

don't waste your singleness

if you,

if you,

if you're there right now.

You know,

get after it

while you can.

You know,

and there's a couple

of negative illustrations.

There are two enormous dudes

in church history.

Two enormous dudes

who I think

maybe it would have been better

if they would have never

married

to begin with.

John Wesley

is one.

Now,

God used

John Wesley

in an incredible way

to usher in revival

and a spiritual awakening.

But his marriage

was an absolute

mess.

I mean,

a mess.

There are writings

where John Wesley

would be at meetings,

conducting meetings,

giving sermons,

and his wife

would come

and scream at him

because he's not

at home enough

and discredit him

in front of other people.

She finally leaves him.

George Whitefield

held at high esteem.

His marriage

was an absolute mess.

He was gone

for months

and months

and months

at a time

and finally

his marriage

just dissolves.

What I'm saying

is this.

The opportunity

to serve God

and listen,

sometimes we spend

sometimes we spend

so much time

grieving

what we don't have

that we don't recognize

what God has for us.

In the state

you're in

right now,

that state

is a gift

from God.

You need to figure out

how it is.

whether you're single,

whether you're single,

married,

married,

And, you know, if you got a child in here this morning that's maybe under 12 or something, maybe you might want to take them out right now and just go sit somewhere. Because I want to be true to the text here. Some of you haven't really been listening to me, but when I said that, you're like, oh, you're going to say something crazy. Maybe we might talk about some skin stuff. Yeah. No, listen.

You know, there's, there's been a lot of conversations that I've had over the years with pastors. I should say in recent years. And, and the conversation is that there are a number of singles that go to these churches who are very, very fine Bible believing churches.

And these singles who are cohabitating. And the deal is that when confronted, they say something like, yeah, we know what's wrong. I know, but, but we love each other. We love each other.

It's almost like saying, yeah, I know it's sin, but it's just sin with a small S. It's just, it's not the biggie. It's just a small S. Okay. And, and he says the primary, listen, the primary responsibility that you have when you are single.

And listen, it is true. And listen, it is true. When you are married, it is true. When you are married, but the primary responsibility that you have when you are single is self-control, self-control.

Because I'm telling you, listen to me, nobody, nobody gets a pass when it comes to holiness.

I don't, you don't get a pass. I don't get a, nobody gets a pass when it comes to holiness.

Nobody gives a pass when it comes to lifestyle stuff. Nobody. Yes, there is forgiveness. Yes, God will meet you there.

Absolutely. That is true. But the reason why so many singles rush into marriage is because they rush into marriage because they have compromised sexually.

And that compromise plays with their heads. It plays with their heads. And so you end up making choices and decisions because I've been there.

Now I'm going to justify that. I'm going to just, yeah, we'll get married.

So Paul goes through all of this and says, man, listen, if you're single, there's an advantage.

If that's the calling that God has and God will meet you in that calling.

But I, but he's saying, I want to say some pretty direct things to you here.

Verse two, he says, but because of the temptation of sexual immorality, each man should have his own wife and each woman, her own husband.

Now, I think what he's saying here is that if there is a strong sexual desire, it may be an indication that you need to get married.

There may be an indication that you need, but you don't need to express that sexual desire apart from marriage.

Okay. Don't mess your thinking up with this whole rationalization thing.

You know, well, well, we're committed to each other. It's just a piece of paper.

Stop it.

Stop it. In the Greek, that's baloney.

It's baloney. Okay, stop it.

If there is a strong sexual desire, what Paul is saying is that it may be an indication that God is changing your calling.

He's maybe changing your calling.

Don't compromise yourself.

Don't compromise.

Look at verse nine.

I think it's nine.

Yes.

But if, but if they cannot exercise self-control, they should marry where it's better to marry than to burn with passion.

And it means what he says here.

Okay.

To burn with passion is to be consumed with an almost out of control sexual desire.

That's what that means.

Right.

And we would say, man, you immersed in lust.

That's what we would call it.

I'll call it today.

Now, try, try to maintain a celibate state apart from the empowerment of God.

That will always lead to immorality.

If you try to maintain that apart from the empowerment of God.

Sexual desire is probably the strongest, if not the strongest.

yourself, you know, unable to control that, I'll say some things later on in this message, but let's say you can't, you can't control it. Let me just suggest to you, maybe you need to get a group of people around you to help hold you accountable. Hold you accountable to that. And maybe you need to start thinking that if you can't control this, maybe it's an indication that God's changing your calling in life and you're supposed to be married. And now you need to get those same group of people who love you and want to hold you accountable to help you pray through and think through the decisions of the

God's life partner. That's how the body of Christ works. And the church comes around. The church shouldn't tell you who you're supposed to marry, but they can affirm, they can affirm things in your life. It's powerful. This thing is powerful. Look at verse 36. If anyone thinks that he is not behaving properly toward his patrols,

if his passions are strong, if his passions are strong, and it has to be, let him do as he wishes, let them marry, it is no sin. What he's saying is simply this, marriage is the sacred context to experience sexual fulfillment. Marriage, okay? And I say this to singles all the time and I say it to married people. Married people know this, okay?

To be married, to be married will not end your sexual temptation. It doesn't, okay? And listen, if you can't control yourself before you're married, guess what you bring into that marriage? That lack of control. If you can't control yourself before you're married, you are not going to control yourself after.

Don't believe that lie. Don't believe that lie that just somehow, some magically way, because you said I do, that you're no longer going to have sexual temptation.

It's a lie. It's a lie. You know, of course, marriage is the sacred conduit. Marriage is the sacred context through which this is fulfilled.

And there's a celebration for that in the context of marriage. But there is not the eradication of desire.

Just because you said I do, doesn't mean that all the desires go away.

Now, whether you give in to that or not, that's a whole other thing.

That's why, even in the light, let's say, let's say you have these things, okay, that go on.

I see this happen in people's lives. All of a sudden you say I do.

And you get married. You've got that special woman.

That special woman. And you're a man.

And you've been struggling with these desires.

And all of a sudden you're trying to operate to control these things.

And you're not asking the power of God to help you in that.

Guess what happens? You've said I do.

So that should take care of all those carnal things, right?

I've got a married partner.

I've got somebody who I can see without their clothes on.

That's what the world says is all this, that, and the other, right?

We're talking real important stuff today.

So let's hang with me here.

So, hey, I've got all these things.

So that should take care of all those desires.

So why is it that these men, these men who have these women, who have these partners,

that they don't have to undress them with their eyes.

You can undress them in person.

I see them undressed.

Why do they find themselves on pornography and looking on the Internet,

chasing down, sending pictures, taking pictures, and all this?

Why does that still happen?

Because they've come to a place where God is not enough for them.

I don't care what kind of struggle you're having in your marriage.

marriage, God has to be enough.

That is never right to substitute those actions for the covenant of marriage that you have made.

So Paul gives us these three things.

Lonnie told me to preach it today because we had a big crowd last week,

and we need to thin some people out.

So I'm just trying to thin some people out this week.

And don't send me an email.

No, no one texted me.

Your wife didn't text me.

Okay?

And that's not why we have this message.

That's called conviction of the Holy Spirit.

Let me, uh, so Paul gives us these three things.

Hey, to be single, single, it's a gift.

It's a gift right now.

And there's a handful of you that I know that are single at this stage of your life,

whether it's one reason or another.

And I want to affirm you.

I'm not going to call out your name because I don't want to be an embarrassing thing,

but I...

So let's land the plane here. I'm going to land the plane with five suggestions here. And these are for the whole church, but they're really kind of focused at our singles here today. Next week we'll talk about marriage, and next week we'll talk about children. So we've got a three-part series here that we're going to do on the anchor of society, the family. But the first I would say is, listen, if you're single, if you're not married, okay, focus your walk on God. Focus your walk with God. Now is the time to plumber.

Welcome it to the depths of intimacy with God. Now, you know, to be consistent in your walk with God. To be consistent in your study of the scriptures. To be consistent in your service. And see, that's why a lot of times what happens when couples get married and they come into the life of the church, you are never really, you are never really serving as a single. So guess what happens when you get married? You don't serve when you get married.

We need you to serve. I don't need you to serve here.

But the Lord has given you an invitation to serve here. The Lord is, and if you don't serve, you're not serving me, you're not serving the Lord, and you're missing out on an opportunity, and other people are missing out on an opportunity to see your gifts and graces flourish in the life of the kingdom.

And listen, just because you get married, you don't automatically become a spiritual giant.

All right? You don't automatically, you don't, you know, you carry into that relationship the difference that you had or you didn't have before you got married.

So just so you think you're going to find that man, he's the one, he's the one.

Well, he doesn't really, he doesn't really chase after the Lord.

He doesn't even like to pray with me.

Well, he's just quiet type.

Hey, I get that. I get that.

But even if you're the quiet type, and it's the audience of you, your wife, and the Lord,

man, you bless your woman, you pray over her, you pray with her, you pray for her.

Even my three-year-old can say a prayer.

Come on, guys.

Pray over them.

It will enrich the depths of their soul.

Amen, ladies?

Second thing I would say, cultivate healthy relationships.

If you're single right now, and for us as well, too.

And not just with other single people.

Cultivate healthy relationships with some married people as well, too.

And listen, this also, while you're single,

this is a great time in your life to get rid of some of those toxic relationships.

Some of you need to get rid of them before you go.

You can't go any further because you've got some baggage you're dragging with you.

You've got some toxicity you need to get rid of, okay?

And I said this earlier, next, I said this earlier,

but don't idolize marriage.

Don't idolize marriage.

Only God can meet your needs.

A spouse is not going to meet your needs.

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry.

They'll meet certain levels of your needs, okay?

I get that.

But don't expect another human being to do for you what only God Almighty can do for you.

You will be forever disappointed.

You'll be forever let down.

Which leads me to the next one.

Don't settle.

Don't settle.

Keep your standards high.

I can't tell you the number of folks who I've met,

and they've married later in life,

and they get lonely.

So they feel like, oh, I have to marry this person.

Oh, they've said all the right things.

And what they do is they flush their standards down the toilets.

I'll cave, because I'm tired of waiting.

This has got to be the one.

This has got to be the one.

And they marry a desire and not a reality.

Anybody with me on that?

You've seen it happen?

You marry a desire.

And look, don't settle.

Don't settle.

I'm telling you there's only one heartbreak greater than that of a broken marriage.

You ask some of these people in this room who've been through that,

and they will tell you a broken marriage is terrible in a life and a heart,

especially when children are involved.

The only thing worse is probably the only heartbreak greater would be the loss of a child.

based on what you can do. Figure out what you can do and drive towards that. Drive towards that. And listen, I want to say this to like guys, people like Bryce and Matt and some of these others who are single right now are great guys. I'm being serious. Don't focus on the right, trying to find the right person. You focus on being the right person. Being the person that she deserves or that he deserves. And that person will come to you, Mallory, in the right time.

In the right time. Focus on being the right person. But all of this, all of it is a portrait of the sustaining power of Christ. Because he is able. God is able. He is able.

If Christ is in our hearts and our lives, he's forgiven us. He's forgiven us of all of our sins. And we can abide in him. And he can give us the power that we need to sustain us in whatever calling that we have in our lives. He can give us the power to sustain us in that. Whether we're single or we're married. Either one.

He can sustain us. He can sustain us. He can sustain us. He gives us the power to help us be holy. He gives us the power to help us be overcomers.

He gives us the power to really understand that he is all that we really need.

What's our closing song today? I'm sorry? Holy ground. Amen.

Come on up, worship team.

Come on up, worship team.

Let me just read this to you as the worship team begins to lead us out.

And I just want to encourage you today, no matter where you are, what season you are in right now,

whatever season God has called you to right now, there's joy in it.

There really is.

And it is a gift.

Whatever, wherever you are.

And you might even be really hurting right now.

I get that.

But that's a gift too.

Why?

Because God is teaching you how to be sustained through hard times.

And how to lean on Him and trust on Him in maybe some new ways.

But because He is able,

but because He is able,

we can be overcomers.

We can be overcomers.

And this is really not a tie-in.

This is really not a tie-in to the message today.

But it's a tie-in to the greatness of God.

Because I was sitting right here earlier this morning worshiping us.

The worship team was leading us.

I was directed to this passage of Scripture.

And I felt like I was supposed to come up and read it.

But the Lord shut me down on that and said,

No, we're going to just close with it.

Because it's going to speak of my beautiful Son.

And so I'm going to ask,

if you need someone to pray with you

because it's hard,

enduring in the place you are right now,

and whatever state God's called you,

whether that's singleness or marriage,

I would love to pray with you.

Our elders would love to pray with you.

We have some faithful folks on Wednesday night

that just love to pray for folks.

We'd love to come and just,

not get in your business,

but lay hands and pray on you,

over you, for you.

But I really want you to marinate

on the words of Scripture this morning

and see Christ,

or who He really is,

the majestic One

who...

I've said too much.

Won't you stand with me?

How much is it?

How about you?

How about you?