Good morning, church. It is good to see you. Good to see you this morning. A couple of quick things. You got me here? Yeah? A couple of quick things this morning.

A couple of housekeeping things. We've got on the 30th, August the 30th, we will begin our student ministry again on Sunday nights at 530.

Brother Joe wanted me to make you aware of that. He's sending out some messages and some videos for our students right now.

Please keep apprised to all of that. But on the 30th, we'll start again.

He's also going to be letting you know some of the things we're going to be doing to ensure the safety of your students.

But also on a bigger thing as well is we're needing some help in the student ministry area.

Joe needs some help, not for folks to just be warm bodies, but if you have a heart for students,

you have a heart to step in and love on our kids and to help them grow in the grace and knowledge of the Lord,

he would love to talk to you about that. And so talking to you at home.

I know a lot of our folks are still at home being safe and watching online.

But if that's something that you would be interested in, please reach out to Joe about that as well, too.

I think today is the last Sunday for Project Backpack.

So if you brought your backpacks, toss them in the pile, we're going to take care of it this week.

If for some reason you didn't bring it in, the school supplies, all that good stuff,

contact us at the office and we'll get it to the correct parties this week.

We'll make that happen for you as well, too.

I want to say welcome to visitors if we have some visitors here this morning.

And I think in a few weeks, I'm not sure the date, but Taylor is going to start again.

We just started the the discover part of the ministry this Sunday again back after taking a 30 day break,

looking at some of our numbers and our county and our hospitalizations and all that good stuff.

But I think in two more weeks, we will begin back again with all of our children's ministry activities.

That's online. You can follow that as well, too.

But if you're a visitor with us, there's some there's a connect car located in a chair in front of you.

Give us some information about you. We'd love to connect with you.

Love to see if there's any needs that we can help with as well, too.

I think that's really kind of all the housekeeping stuff that we had this morning.

Is there anything I'm missing, Tom, that you can think of? No.

So so with that in mind, we are going to continue in our little mini series.

We're taking a break in our series of study of John's gospel, because as I told you,

we have I felt compelled by the Lord that we needed to tackle some of these one and others,

because I think that at this time and this this age, we can be so disconnected with one another.

When and all most of our connection takes place over through technology.

And that's probably the worst way that we can actually connect with one another.

It leaves us longing for that connection, longing for that relationship that we were we were we were made for.

We were built for. And so we began a couple of weeks on these one and talking about these one and others.

And we said that the Greek word for that was allelon allelon and that that is that we are interconnected,

meaning that we are interconnected.

And and we we talked about how in the New Testament that there is no sanctification apart from community.

We are, you know, apart from relationship, apart from one another.

We were made to be in relationship with one another.

We come when we come to Christ, we are saved and we are placed in a body called the body of Christ.

But it's not just for our mutual encouragement that we can be built up personally, although that is important.

But it's for the corporate testimony of God before a watching and unbelieving world as we are the body of Christ,

the corporate testimony of God before a watching and unbelieving world.

The Bible says that we have been built up as a dwelling place for God.

You ever think about that built up as a doing his body, his church is the dwelling place of God in the world.

And so how we relate to one another is not just what we should do.

But it's but it's the stewardship of the testimony of God in the world.

And if we're not if we're not in community with one another, if we're not in relationship with one another,

then what that can lead to is a very dysfunctional Christianity as well.

I think we see that played out in a lot of situations.

My Christianity is not just individual.

It's corporate.

We are connected whether we like it or not.

OK, whether we like it or not.

We are in the body of Christ.

So we began this series.

I'm so sorry.

A love in the scriptures implies sacrifice. And so to love one another is not a negotiated relationship or what's in it for me relationship or what can I get out of a relationship. OK, to love biblically means that I am willing to disadvantage myself for the comfort of someone else. Biblically, you get that? I'm willing to disadvantage myself for the comfort of someone else.

And like we talked about last week, we don't we don't get to throw people away just because they have a different perspective on some of these minor issues or if their preferences are different. No, we major in the majors. We majors in the majors.

And there are times that we have to sacrifice for one another. And so today we're going to dive into and I'm only going to teach on one verse this morning. One verse. That's it. We got a lot of ground to cover.

So that tells you we got we got a lot of things to unpack this morning. But today is going to be forgiving one another, forgiving one another.

And so I think I think if you're maybe sitting here and you're spaced out, maybe turn to somebody in your family group or your home, turn around to somebody in your household and say, today you need to put your big boy pants on.

You need to put your big girl pants on because pastor is going to make some of you upset this morning.

And we're going to step on some toes this morning because the reality is, if you're if you're at least five years of age, there isn't a day that goes by that you have to forgive someone.

Amen. I mean, all of us, every every last one of us, every single day of our lives, we're offended by something that somebody has said or done.

We get it. We find ourselves offended. So the issue in life is not whether or not I'm going to deal with the forgiveness issue.

If you're going to live and have any kind of joy in your life, you have to learn to deal with forgiveness.

Forgiveness. This is this is a big one.

I mean, I tell people all the time when they come in for premarital counseling, even in a marriage, in a marriage, the depth and degree of your intimacy as a couple is determined by your ability to forgive.

The depth, OK, and the degree of intimacy as a as a couple, if you cannot forgive, if you struggle with forgiveness, then then your walk in your relationship with your partner will only be so deep.

And some of you are going to be emailing me for marriage counseling this week. I get that.

And so, listen, forgiveness is an ongoing occurrence in life. OK, I mean, vicious things happen.

They just happen to us. OK, all kinds of tragic things.

And then humans, humans can be cruel. Can they not?

People can be cruel. OK, and then you get the devil involved in all this.

Well, all the strongholds in our lives and exponential sin just explodes on people.

And then you have the endless parade of just personal offenses and unfaithful spouse, insensitive parents, just rebellious children.

I mean, heartless in-laws, possessive boss or a controlling boss.

I mean, the list just goes on and on and on.

All this to say is that sin has permeated every single relationship.

It just it just has everything about us.

There is no perfect human being.

So guess what? Forgiveness is on the table.

Forgiveness is on the table.

And we'll get to our verse today.

I promise we'll get to our verse today.

But I need to spend some time on this because I hear a lot of teachings from guys who stand on stage and I've and I've I want to say this in the right way.

Well, let me just say I hear a lot of teachings that just don't square up with a lot of what in the New Testament says forgiveness is about.

OK, and I want to just make seven quick summary statements.

OK, about what I believe the New Testament teaches us about forgiveness as we get into this this morning.

First of all, number one, listen, every single one of us, all of us are in need of forgiveness.

All of us are in need of forgiveness.

And the grand prerequisite for forgiveness is humility.

And the Bible is very clear that all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God.

Amen. And the word all in the Greek, you know what it means?

All every last one of us.

to our fellowship with God. It's a barrier to our fellowship. You don't just get to choose not to forgive someone and have it not affect you. I'll talk a little bit more about this later. But to not forgive someone is to choose not to get close to God. You know, because forgiveness is part of his character. It's part of who he is. His love and his mercy and his grace. They move towards us.

In Matthew chapter 5, Jesus says, hey, you got a problem. You got a problem going on and you want to go worship God and you have an issue with someone or you remember somebody has an issue with you. Stop the worship service. Stop the worship service and get this thing right because God is not going to receive what you're going to bring. Next, I want you to see that we are to forgive others even when they don't ask for it. Hmm. You guys are like, I wish I wouldn't have come this morning, right?

Listen, forgiveness in the Bible is immediate. And let me just put a parenthesis here, though. OK, there is a big difference. Listen, a big difference between forgiveness and reconciliation and restoration.

A big difference. Reconciliation and restoration depends upon normally just more than one person. OK, forgiveness just depends on the individual.

It only takes one to give forgiveness, but it usually takes two or more, depending on the parties that are involved and to experience true reconciliation.

So we give even though that person doesn't ask for it. OK, and don't punish yourself either by saying, well, I'm not going to forgive that person until they ask for my forgiveness.

All right. And I'm not trying to be funny here or cute or anything. But listen, when you say that, who's the one being punished?

It's you. It's you. It's you. OK, forgiveness is released. Now, in resolution and reconciliation, there need to be some exchange that takes place and hopefully you can resolve the issue.

But forgiveness needs to be released, even though a person doesn't ask for it.

Also, we give forgiveness even to those who don't deserve it.

I mean, the classic illustration for that is Stephen in Acts chapter seven.

I mean, Stephen is right there. He's going to be stoned. OK, and the only reason he's going to be stoned is because of his commitment to the Lord Jesus.

They're going to stone him. They're done with him.

OK, listen, we do not choose whom we forgive.

We don't we don't get to do that, you know, even even though I mean, there have been people who have done some hellacious, awful, devastating things.

There have been people who have done unimaginative things. You are called to forgive.

You're called to forgive. And I just want to add as well that to seek forgiveness is not the same thing.

OK, as as not looking for justice. All right.

That's a sermon for another time. But to seek forgiveness is not the same thing as to not look for justice.

You can look for justice, but you have also been forgiven. OK, but but we release forgiveness even to those who don't deserve it.

And we'll talk a little bit more about this this morning in a moment. But next also, we give an unlimited amount of forgiveness.

An unlimited amount. That's Matthew chapter 18.

Peter, you know, says, Lord, how often should I forgive?

You know, and Peter steps up to the plate.

He's thinking he's being pretty, pretty genuine, pretty, you know, gracious here.

How about seven times, Lord?

I mean, if somebody does something seven times to you, surely that's that's it. Right.

And Jesus says, no, how about seven times 70?

OK, and the point is, Jesus wasn't saying four hundred and ninety is the magic number.

Once you hit four ninety one, they're yours, man.

That's not what he what he's getting at.

He's telling Peter, put your calculator away.

Forgiveness is not focused on the repetitiveness of someone's offense.

Forgiveness is the state in which we are called to live.

That's big. That's hard.

That's hard. OK, and next, there are consequences when we choose not to forgive.

There are consequences.

Again, Matthew chapter 18, Jesus tells this.

you want, you know what? You don't forgive people. Guess what? God's not going to forgive you. What? So there are consequences to not forgiving. You can choose not to forgive, but there are consequences. And when you do when you choose not to forgive, you are stepping outside of the protection of God. When you choose to have that hard heart, you are stepping out of a relationship with God. There are consequences when you say, I'm not going to forgive.

Again, we'll talk a little bit more about this in a second. But finally, listen, it is only God who gives us the ability to forgive. He gives us the ability to forgive. There is no way, no way in the world, humanly speaking, that we can forgive people. I mean, there are just things people have done that are just horrific stuff. We don't have the power in and of ourselves. We just don't.

You know, apart from the grace of God, we cannot forgive. Oswald Chambers says this, we talk glibly about forgiveness when we are not injured. When we are injured, we know that it is not possible apart from God's grace for one human being to forgive another. Man, I've been there. I've been there. People can say some cruel stuff to you, some very hurtful stuff.

And you think to yourself, you know, you know, how in the world am I going to forgive this person? You can't do it apart from the grace and the power of the Spirit of God. You just can't do it.

Forgiveness, forgiveness takes dependence. And that's that's the issue. There's a pride thing going on here. There's a pride thing going on here because when that happens to us, the person injures us.

They offend us. Our first step is, who in the world do you think you are talking to me, dealing with me that way?

But forgiveness takes a dependence on God, a dependence on God.

Now, with all of that as the backdrop, we're going to look at our verse this morning in Ephesians chapter 4, verse 32.

Now, listen, in context of this chapter, Paul is talking about relationships in the body of Christ.

And again, the backdrop of the testimony of Christians to the corporate world.

You and I don't have a private Christianity. Our Christianity is not private.

Our Christianity is very, very public. Our relationships are very, very public.

And Paul steps into this verse. And to me, this verse is all about the compelling beauty of corporate forgiveness.

It's so beautiful. It's filled. When you when you read this, you can't miss this.

It is absolutely filled with tenderness. It's filled with tenderness in here.

OK, be kind to one another. Be kind to one another. Tender hearted.

Forgiving one another. As God in Christ has forgiven you.

And let that wash over you this morning.

Because I want to suggest to you that embedded in this one verse are three compelling statements that Paul makes here.

OK. And the first statement that he makes is, listen, you and I, we have to set the environment.

You got to set the environment. How do we do that?

Be kind to one another.

Tender hearted.

Be kind to one another.

Tender hearted.

And the word kind here literally means what is suitable and fitting to a need.

And what you have to realize is that these two words, kindness and tender hearted, have to do with the ability of to not be self-absorbed.

To not be self-absorbed.

Paul is actually talking about spiritual maturity here.

You cannot be kind hearted.

You cannot be tender hearted.

And be self-absorbed at the same time.

It's impossible.

You know, and listen, please listen to me.

Humility is not a lack of confidence.

It's exactly the opposite.

Humility is not a lack of confidence.

God will take care of me. I know who I am in Christ. Amen? I know who I am in Christ. And because of that security in Him, I don't have to go around being consistently needy. Because of that security in Him, I don't have to go around brokering for affirmation. And because of that security in Him, I don't have to go around soliciting undue attention to myself or to be defensive.

All the time. But I am free to give this forgiveness that we're talking about. And Paul is saying that your posture towards one another's ought to be a mature posture. Curtis, your attitude should be one of kindness. It should be one of kindness. You should be looking for areas in their lives where you can give them this to help them be all that they need to be.

And the word tender hearted here implies compassion. We have taken compassion off the table in so many of our conversations and relationships today. Can you not see that? It's like we've thrown it out the window. Compassion, that means letting your heart go, okay? Stop being so emotionally protective. Stop being so emotionally guarded.

I know the reason why. I know the reason why is because we've been hurt. I know the reason why is because we've been hurt. But all of us have had our feelings stepped on at some point in time in my lives.

Again, if you're past the age of five, you know what this means. How many of you here are under five? Raise your hand. Okay. We're all good then. We're all good.

Paul is saying you have to be mature enough, Curtis, secure in your walk, in your relationship with me to let your heart go out to other people.

When people come into your orbit, what do they feel? When they come into my orbit, do they feel kindness? Do they feel tender heartedness? Or do they feel defensiveness?

There are some people, are you with me, that when you walk away from an encounter with them, you walk away from that person and you go,

Oh my goodness, who hurt that person? Somebody must have just, like every country song, they killed their dog, they wrecked their truck, they did everything possible.

They stole their wife and none of it ever came back, right?

Wow. You walk away from that and so we have to ask ourselves, you know, what's the environment that you set?

What's the environment that I set? Are we defensive in life?

And so the question is, how welcoming are we?

And I say this with a degree of integrity here, because believe it or not, I'm an introvert.

I don't like just getting up and speaking in front of people.

I'm very introverted. My wife can tell you, I'm very introverted, okay?

To be able to do this every week, it's just the Spirit of God, okay?

I'm very introverted.

But I think we have to be very, very careful.

What we have to be careful of is that we don't use our personality bent as an excuse to be unkind.

You hear me?

We don't use our personality bent as an excuse to be unkind.

Because sometimes an introvert can use their personality bent and they will come across as being rude, not engaging, removed.

But Paul is saying, this is not a personality, these are not personality bent.

These are Christian characteristics.

And you're supposed to grow in these things.

We need to grow in these things.

So the first thing you do, brothers and sisters, is you set the environment.

Be kind to one another.

Tender-hearted.

What if we just worked on that just one week in our lives and we came back and gave a report?

How did your being kind and tender-hearted to one another?

I want to stop doing that, Pastor.

Can we move on to something else next week?

That takes too much work.

Just those things right there.

But second, we need to give the gift.

We've got to give the gift.

Be kind to one another.

Tender-hearted.

We set the stage.

But now, what?

Forgiving one another.

I mean, connect all this, okay?

The environment gives rise to the ability to give the gift.

the primary word for forgiveness is afime. And it means to put away. Afime, okay? But here, that's not the word that's used. Interesting. It's not the word that's used. The word that's translated here for forgiveness is karotsamaya. Karotsamaya. We get the word charisma from that, okay? And the root word is karis, meaning gift. But in fact, it's grace. Okay? It's grace. So the point that Paul is making here is karotsamaya

karotsamaya means to give freely or to give graciously as a favor. As a favor. So if you're baptized with kindness and tender-heartedness, then forgiveness is not so much an obligation, but it's a kindness that you extend. It's a kindness. It's a gracious thing that you do to offer forgiveness, to give forgiveness. It's gracious.

You are being gracious. You are being gracious. To give the gift of forgiveness is a favor. And it shadows the grace of God that has been poured out on us on the cross of Jesus Christ. Do we earn any of that? That Jesus did only? No. But as a gift, as a favor, God graciously poured out everything that we should have received on His beautiful Son, Jesus, so that we might be able to stand before Him holy and righteous one day.

What a favor! What a favor! What a favor! What a gracious favor!

And when we approach things like that, we don't see forgiveness as an obligation.

It's not an obligation. It comes from a heart that is predisposed to the heart of our Savior.

And by the way, clearly, from this passage, to withhold the gift of forgiveness is to deny the power of the gospel.

You hear me on that, church?

It is to deny. Let me get practical with you.

In all my years of ministry, I have seen every kind of church split imaginable.

And I would have to say that 98% of the church splits are not doctrinal in nature.

Most of the church splits are nothing more than carnal arguing.

Someone is elevating a secondary issue and making it a primary passion.

And before you know it, the lack of forgiveness is right there.

The shrap metal is thrown into the church or the organization.

And they split and splinter and splinter and split and all this.

And all this because someone's preferences are treated like they're the 67th book of the Bible.

I'm serious.

This is awful.

It's a shame.

We sanctify and we end up sanctifying our inability to forgive.

It's shameful.

It is shameful.

What does that say about the gospel?

What does it say about the gospel?

What does it say about the power of God to change us?

And here in the text, it's more than implied that when I withhold the gift of forgiveness,

that what I am saying is that the gospel is not sufficient.

It's not sufficient.

It's not powerful.

It can't change my heart.

It can't change other people's hearts.

It can't bring healing to my life.

The gospel is not strong enough to bring healing to my life.

And if I'm holding forgiveness to what I'm actually saying is that the gospel can't change me.

That it's my right to get even.

Uh-oh.

I've got a right to get even on this one.

You don't understand how badly they hurt me.

We're going to talk more about that in a minute.

It's my right to cherish and nourish and coddle this offense.

It's my right to cherish and coddle this offense to me is more important than the gospel that I say I believe.

So that's where I'm putting all my marbles.

Having said that, all of that.

I don't know.

and teach some things and have written a lot of books that I don't necessarily agree with, that I don't believe line up with the New Testament and what the New Testament teaches. And I go back to the Scriptures for these things right here. First thing I want you to understand is forgiveness is not, it's not necessarily good feelings. It's not necessarily good feelings. You can forgive somebody and still have bad feelings about what happened. That's fine. It's not necessarily good feelings.

Forgiveness is not, listen, it's not forgetting. It's not forgetting. It's not forgetting that something happened to you. People will say, well, wait a minute. The Scripture says that God forgets our sins as far as the east is to the west. And actually, God does not forget. Otherwise, He would not be omniscient. Okay? He would not be omniscient. But what we mean by that when we say that God forgets our sins is that He does not treat us or come to us or approach us in light of that.

offense. That's what that offense. That's what that means. So forgiveness is not forgetting about it. So if you have, you've forgiven someone, but you still remember, there's pain involved there. I get that. But what it means is that we take on the same characteristic as God, that if we've truly forgiven somebody, we don't approach them in light of that offense. We don't deal with them in light of that offense. Because that's gone. I still have pain. We'll talk about more of that in a moment.

Forgiveness is also not complete healing. You can forgive and still be hurt. There's pain that's caused. And it's not some false spirituality that's really just rooted in denial. Okay? No, the pain is real. Anybody with me?

The pain is real. The pain is real. And in some cases, you might have to get some help to overcome that. I get that. So it doesn't mean that you haven't, you know, forgiven somebody if you still feel the pain.

But sometimes it takes a while to get over these, the emotional damage of what's been done, what has happened in your life.

Also, forgiveness is not making things better. Just because you forgive somebody doesn't necessarily mean that the situation is going to change.

I mean, if you've been involved at all in any degree of leadership, okay, you understand. With people, you know what I'm talking about. Okay?

And this is where we confuse forgiveness and reconciliation and restoration. Okay? Yes, this is a mess.

What's happened? This is a mess. And I forgive you. I forgive you. But there is collateral damage.

There is collateral damage. The mess still needs to be cleaned up. In fact, there may be still even more fallout from the mess.

As we clean this thing up. So it doesn't necessarily, that forgiveness automatically makes things better.

Okay? So what is forgiveness?

I just want to give you three strong observations here this morning.

Three strong observations. I think this is key. I hear it thrown around a lot.

But we need to understand biblically what we're talking about.

Forgiveness, listen, number one, is releasing my right to get even.

First of all, I'm releasing my right to get even. I make the decision to release it.

Well, how do I do that? I'm glad you asked.

First, that leads us to the second one.

Forgiveness means entrusting myself to God's love, to God's power, and God's plan.

You've got to go vertical with this thing.

You've got to go, I mean, you have got to go vertical if you're really going to get on the other side of this thing with forgiveness.

There is no way.

I mean, people have said stuff about me.

People have written stuff to me, have emailed me, have text messaged me some stuff.

And I'm telling you that in the flesh, my first thought, I want to well up and say,

I tell you what, I'll meet with you, but it'll be 10 o'clock out back behind the church.

And we'll work this out.

But the reality is, I don't do that because, number one, I want to be a man of God.

And number two, there's video surveillance, and I don't want to get video of me trying to dot somebody's eye.

You've got to go vertical with this thing.

You have to, okay?

But...

I don't say that just to be flippant. It means you're living into idolatry. I mean, you keep fantasizing about what I want to do to that person. What I want to say to them if that opportunity arrives. I got the zinger. I know what I'm going to say to them. And I get that opportunity. You know? And what I'm going to do to them. So, your emotions and your thought life are being controlled.

And guess what? It ain't by God. It ain't by God. I would also say that forgiveness is really an old English word. I love this English word. Forbearance. Forbearance. That's a great word. Forbearance is the ability to show restraint.

The ability to let it go. I mean, I was going to have all these frozen clips with Elsa talking about let it go. But you know what? This is too important to get silly on it, you know?

This is too important for us to just wash over this. But you see, the closer you get to the Lord Jesus Christ... Listen to me, please. The closer you get to the Lord Jesus Christ, the less things actually get really under your skin.

And you find yourself, man, I don't get quite as irritated about this as I used to. Why is that? God says, you're growing up. You're growing up.

You're turning into the man or woman of God. I've always knew you would be and could be. Let's keep walking. Let's keep walking.

I mean, and listen, because I love you guys so much, I want to say this to you, but some of you here this morning will never get any better than what bothers you.

You're stuck.

And some of you are wishing, again, you didn't come here this morning.

This is from the Word of God. You will never get any better than what bothers you.

Sometimes God allows us to get offended.

And I hear the Lord whisper in my ear when those...

Curtis, are you going to grow up?

How are you going to handle it this time?

I mean, part of it's just life, part of it's COVID-19, part of it's being on top of each other, but Jill and I had this same thing just the last few days.

You know, Jill's talking to me.

Honey, I feel like you're just so offended.

She's probably right.

So what do I do?

I come back at her.

No, I'm not.

Why do you say that?

You're making it all about you.

No, I'm not.

But you said...

You just did.

Pride.

Pride.

Wow.

If you are a person and you are constantly offended by stuff, I'm just asking you to look at your own heart.

If that's your go-to thing, you're constantly offended, wow.

I mean, just wow.

That's a sad place to live, isn't it?

I mean, how many gospel opportunities are we missing living in that land?

And please, I'm not trying to be flippant about this stuff, but there is just some stuff you have just got to let go.

You just got to let it go.

I'm not trying to be a hero.

And I'm not trying to be funny.

But it's...

I love this church.

I love this church.

And it's kind and it's loving.

I mean, truly.

If you're watching online, you've never visited us here.

This is one of the most loving churches I've ever experienced in my life.

But as kind and loving as this church is, guess what?

It's still a church.

It is absolutely still a church.

And if I wouldn't have let some things go that have come across my heart over the last...

This would be, what, seven years we've been doing this?

God's called step in to plant this church.

If I hadn't let some things go that have been...

I had a conversation with my wife. I've come home. I've come home, and I've been so broken over some things that have gone on. I'm trying to do the right thing. I'm trying to lead people. I'm trying to love people. And something happens where darts are throwing at me that are just not right. It's not right. It's not good. And I've said to Jill, sweetheart, I just need to go and find a large church where I can just be an associate pastor. I'd be the best stinking associate pastor any pastor could ever hope for. He wouldn't know what it's not like to be prayed for. He wouldn't know what it's like to have his

arms lifted up and to be supported in ministry. He would just love his life to have me on staff. Because I know what it's like. But God said no. And so we're here in Brunswick. Still loving. Still going. Still moving. Because God is teaching me. There are some things you just have to let go.

So you have to get to a place in your walk in your relationship with God where the circumstances no longer dictate your spiritual response. God does. God does. You know, some things you look out and man, you've only, here it is, here it is. You only got six silver bullets, man. But there's 24 targets.

You can't shoot at everything. So you've got to make some decisions. That, that, that, I've got to shoot those things. Everything else, I've got to let it go.

I've told you this countless times, but I had an old pastor who used to tell me all the time, you know, and I love this advice. He says, Curtis, sometimes you've just got to build a bridge and get over it.

Sometimes you build that bridge by yourself and sometimes you can get that person to come along with you. That's just part of life. It's just part of life.

So we set the environment. We, we get the gift. We, we got to move on, don't we? What time is it? No, we don't. You guys aren't going anywhere. Never mind.

The last thing we got to do is we got to, we got to maintain the motivation. We got to maintain the motivation.

Okay, look, be kind to one another. Church, be tenderhearted.

Forgiving one another. Forgiving one another. And here you have it. As Christ, as God in Christ forgave you.

As God in Christ forgave you.

Jesus' sacrifice on the cross is the lifestyle to which we are to conform.

You hear me?

Jesus' sacrifice on the cross is the lifestyle to which we are to conform.

Not what can Jesus do for me?

You know, his sacrifice on the cross is the lifestyle that we are, we're supposed to conform to.

Too many of us, guys like me, okay, on Sunday mornings from the pulpit, have taught you about all the bennies of following Jesus.

All the benefits you get when you follow Jesus.

How he can do this for you. He can solve that problem for you.

He can do that for you.

And those might be benefits, absolutely.

Those might be things that extend from that.

But that's not the code of Christianity.

That's not it.

The code of Christianity is a crucified life.

It's a crucified life.

Paul lays it out.

I have been crucified with Christ.

I've been crucified with Christ.

It is no longer I who live, but Christ who lives in me.

And the life I live now in the flesh, I live by faith of the Son of God who loved me and gave himself up for me.

I live a crucified life.

I lay it down every day.

Meaning I identify with Jesus Christ.

How did Jesus handle the offenses that he was given?

The scripture, I don't really know that he did.

You better read your book again.

You better read your book again.

Look at how Jesus handled offenses.

And what God has done in Christ for us, listen, is to govern our behavior and our responses when we are offended by others.

He helps to govern our behavior and our responses.

That's why the writer of Hebrews says that he endured the cross.

What?

That's why he's absolutely not harboring.

That's why he made a жизнь.

His body thinks how do purposeful this Wow.

The authorities would carry out at5 Sanders in order to understand that.

Why didn't the conclusion that Judaism sucks?

Think about it. What has he forgiven us of? I mean, Curtis, before you get on your moral high horse in here and you start wanting to blast somebody, watch your self-righteousness, buddy. That's what I hear God saying to me. What did Jesus forgive you of, Curtis? I mean, think, every one of you, think about where you came from. Think about where you came from. All the, all the, all the stuff that you know that you did,

but you think nobody else knows. He knows. Did he forgive you of that? If you came under the blood of Jesus, you, darn Skippy he did, and Skippy's not even a theological word. But it sure should warm your heart. Absolutely he did. And so, because we realize that, can you, by the power of God,

the power of the Spirit of God, then therefore with all humility and the same degree of grace? I mean, do you not see how masterful this writing is that Paul is doing? With the same humility and degree of grace? I mean, there's an ellipsis in this last clause that causes us to go back to the first clause. How did he forgive us in Christ? How did he forgive us in Christ? Through what? Kindness.

Tender heartedness. Through kindness and tender heartedness. You know, I, I know, uh, a lot of my PCA brothers will argue with me on some of these things, you know, this, that, and the other, that, and I understand all the, the ins and outs theologically of how salvation comes about and this, that, and the other. I get that. I really do get that. But hear me on this.

That the scripture, it, when you come to an awareness of who Jesus is, it really is the kindness of the Lord that arrests you. It's scripture says the kindness of the Lord leads us to repentance.

Okay, we, we have to repent and turn from our ways and walk in a new direction under the covering of the blood of Jesus Christ.

Uh, that is absolutely true. Uh, that is absolutely true. Uh, but it's when you realize how wicked you are and you have been and how self-absorbed you have been your, your, your whole stinking life and God has arrested you in these moments and he's gotten your attention and you're like, God, how can you so tender heartedly love me?

I'm sick. I'm sick. I'm sick. I am sick at heart. But God in his kindness forgave us as we should forgive one another. I mean, not as a result of our works, right? Or anything that we have done to earn it, but according to his mercy.

And because of that, why can we not be gracious to others? D. Martin Lloyd-Jones, probably one of the greatest, greatest preachers of all time in my book, he, uh, he made this observation. He said, um, he's, uh, quote, I said to the glory of God in utter humility that whenever I see myself before God and realize even something of what my blessed Lord has done for me, I am ready to forgive anybody anything.

Now, that's not a statement of pride that he's making right there. It's just the opposite if you listen to what closely to what he's saying. When I see the depths of the sin of D. Martin Lloyd-Jones and I understand what my Savior has done to me, I would be an arrogant idiot not to forgive someone else. In layman's terms, that's what he's saying.

How arrogant of me to hold. And so, in closing, I'm going to give you four quick suggestions here.

Um, if we know that we have not forgiven someone, the first thing I would suggest to you is decide to forgive. Make that decision. Make that decision. Don't wait for your feelings to catch up with what you know you should be doing.

Because it might not ever happen. Decide to forgive. Let your mind and your will control your emotions. Second thing, express your forgiveness.

don't text them. Write them a note. Write them a letter. Maybe it's somebody who's passed on and you really have never really released that and you need to forgive somebody. I'd say still write a note to them. There's healing that comes from that. But also, when you do that, take off the table. Don't be looking for them to affirm you when you do it. Don't do it for those reasons. And don't necessarily be looking for them to say, I'm sorry, either.

Don't necessarily be looking for them to acknowledge it. You're not doing it for those reasons. That'd be good if everybody did do that. Absolutely. But I say take it off the table because you're doing it because it's the right thing to do. It's the right thing to do. Thirdly, do whatever it takes to deal with the pain.

You might need to get some help. I mean, again, forgiveness is not an automatic cure for the pain. You might need to get some counseling, depending on what the matter is. But forgiveness opens up the door to healing, but it may not be the final step in your healing.

And worship team, come on up. Finally, look to Jesus. Look to Jesus and don't rehearse.

Notice and empower the offense. In short, stop talking about it. Stop talking about it. If you've really forgiven that person, stop talking about it. Stop rehearsing it.

I know a lot of people that say to me, well, you know what? I forgave them of this, but man, I gave it to Jesus, but that person just made me mad when they did that.

Now, you've told me about that 20 times. I don't think you've really let it go.

I think you keep pulling it back off the altar.

There are times we just have to let some things go. I'm not speaking about injustice things.

I'm talking about in our relations.

Again, seeking forgiveness is not the same thing as not seeking justice.

I talked about that earlier. That's not what I'm talking about.

But here in the church, I believe if we would work on those things, we would go far from bringing about the kingdom of God to a reality.

Be kind to a reality.

Be kind to one another.

Tender-hearted.

Tender-hearted.

Forgiving one another.

As God in Christ forgave you.

Amen?

Just that verse is a word for us today.

So today, my invitation to you is very, very simple.

Won't you stand?

You've been sitting long enough.

Maybe you felt disconnected.